Phineas and Ferb: The Suite Life
by Thor2000
Summary: Phineas and Ferb meet Zack and Cody, and Doofenschmirtz has stolen all the big screen TVs in Boston. Can Perry the Platypus stop him, and what danger does this mean for the boys?
1. Chapter 1

If New York City reverberated with the voice of Frank Sinatra, Boston echoed with the voice of Vonda Shepard. Her voice and piano-stylings seemed to echo from the city and give it a life. The city was filled with architecture that spanned almost two hundred years of American history. Part of the incidents that created the country occurred in this very city. Only Philadelphia could boast a greater historical significance. Shortly after leaving Logan Airport on arrival, Phineas Flynn and Ferb Ferguson rolled down the window of their taxi and leaned out to enjoy the city and the historical sites, their nine-year-old faces filled with awe and respect for the city. Their parents sat in the middle of the back seat reviewing their itinerary for the trip. Against the other door, Phineas's sister, Candace, clutched her cell phone and mooned over the image of her would-be boyfriend oh so very far away.

"Jeremy…" She wept crying a bit. "You're so far from me. So very far…"

"You know, Candace," Her mother looked over to her. "You could always call him."

"I tried leaving him another message in his voice mail." Candace held his photo to her heart. "It's full. I mean, who could be sending him so many messages!"

Phineas exchanged a look with his stepbrother and best friend, Ferb, as they both realized just why Jeremy's voice mail was so full. Phineas reached to the seat and picked up his other best friend. At first glance, it looked like a large rat, but it had a long smooth body and a tail like a beaver. It's webbed-feet clamped down on the rubber seal on the car window and peered over its duckbill to admire the city.

"This is going to be so cool, Perry." Phineas told his platypus pal. "It's going to be like a whole new adventure!"

Perry just made his usual clicking sound as a response.

"Look boys," Their father pointed out the front of the cab. "That's the Tipton. That's where we're going to be staying."

"Yay!" Phineas cheered optimistically excited for this adventure. Ferb stood up and looked over the front seat to the hotel coming up next to them. The cab stopped and Phineas hurriedly collected Perry and rushed to join Ferb standing at the curb. Their mother was giving instructions to the bellboy collecting the luggage. Their father was exited over the Astronomy Convention he was attending in town. Candace stood on the front steps of the Tipton and arched her head back with her brothers looking up, up, up, up over its incredible height from ground level. It was a very big building.

"Can you imagine bungee-jumping off the roof of that?" Phineas started grinning.

"Well, actually…." Ferb started.

"What?" Candace interrupted and reacted to that observation. "No! You guys are not pulling off another of your crazy schemes!!!" She turned round. "Mom!!! Phineas and Ferb want to go bungee-jumping off the hotel!!!"

"Candace, don't be ridiculous." Their mother delicately carried her overnight case under her arm as the bellboy rolled their luggage into the hotel. "Where would your brothers get a bungee cord that big?"

"Oh, they can get it." Candace groaned tiredly frustrated. Her father lead the way with his wife by his side admiring the hotel Phineas carrying Perry on his shoulder and Ferb just by him. She brought up the rear, tucking her red hair behind her ears, lifting up her cell phone and trying to call Jeremy again. His voice mail was still full.

The hotel was regal and beautiful. It was like an incredible palatial estate in London, and by a stroke of coincidence, it was rumored the hotel owner had named his daughter, London. Phineas and Ferb entered the hotel awash with excited and stunned excitement. This place was going to be a fun location! Candace meanwhile pictured herself living like a princess with room service, swimming in its pool, massages by muscular beefy Tipton employees and maybe even meeting a famous celebrity.

"Candace," Her mother called to her. "Look after your brothers while we're here."

All of Candace's dreams went bust upon hearing that.

"Fine….." She rolled her eyes as the harried and harassed babysitter of her brothers. "It's not like they could possibly get in any trouble here in Boston…."

"Well, of course, not…" Her mother disagreed. "They're both very well-behaved young boys."

"Only because you've never caught them…." Candace mumbled. Her parents had to be the only ones in Danville who did not know about the wild events that had occurred in their backyard. Everything from rockets to space, a giant haunted house, a monster truck rally, a beach party and nearly everything else conceivable and inconceivable happened in that one acre of yard, and yet, it all seemed to just mysteriously vanish whenever she dragged her mother to see it. Candace was developing a nasty nervous disorder compounded by low personal self-esteem because of it. The only source of joy in her life was Jeremy; he made her happy and helped her to forget about her brothers. She tried to leave him another message in his voice mail; it didn't send.

"Candace…" Her stepfather gave her money from his wallet. "Why don't you get the boys and yourself some candy while your mother and I check in?"

"Fine…" She took the money commiserating in her life's agonies and tribulations. "My life is just ruined anyway…." She turned depressed and tired around to the candy counter. She took a few steps, made a brief glance at the candy girl, looked again at her and then again. She looked so familiar! Change her blonde hair to red, change her brown eyes to blue, replace the hotel uniform with something from her own closet, she could be her.

"Hi, welcome to the Tipton." Maddie the candy girl beamed effervescently to Candace.

"You look so familiar!" Candace saw the resemblance.

"I know what you mean." Maddie beamed a bit. "A lot of people say I look exactly like Ashley Tisdale!"

"Uhhhhh, yeah….." Candace didn't see it.

Phineas and Ferb meanwhile discovered the Tipton Game room for their younger guests. They wandered in slowly in awe of all the games and computer attractions to play with in the room. There were several other kids their age and older. Fifteen-year-old twins Zack and Cody were playing _Star Invaders_, a science fiction game. Cody was the thinner boy in the sweater vest who proved time and time again to be a model son; his brother, Zack, was the heavier one who over and over proved to be the lazy bad influence that knocked Cody down to his level. Cody just happened to look over and notice Phineas carrying his pet platypus.

"Oh, wow," Cody noticed Perry. "You got a platypus. I heard they can make good pets because they are so low maintenance." He got to briefly hold Perry. Perry's clawed webbed hand held on to his sweater vest.

"They are the only mammals to lay eggs." Ferb mentioned.

"Yeah, he's my best friend next to Ferb." The boys introduced each other on the spot. "What are you guys doing here? You live nearby?"

"No, we actually live in the hotel!" Zack confessed. "It's so cool. We get to hang out with London Tipton…"

"Who's in Paris right now." Cody added.

"The candy counter girl is a real babe…"

"She's way out of his league." Cody added to his brother's embellishments.

"We have all sorts of fun in the hotel…"

"Which he gets us in trouble over…" Cody had lived through all this. "We've been grounded over a hundred times since we started living here. Our mom's the hotel singer in the lounge."

"You guys sound like you're living in a TV show!" Phineas liked their life.

"Funny you should mention that…" Zack looked to his brother. "But we did almost get to be TV stars! But someone couldn't remember his lines…" He glared to Cody.

"There was a lot more to it than that!" Cody rolled his eyes. Zack looked to his brother and back to Phineas. Phineas turned to his stepbrother.

"You know, Ferb, I think I know what we're doing today!"


	2. Chapter 2

2

After lunch, Candace found herself walking through and exploring the Tipton trying to enjoy herself. She thought about going swimming in the upstairs pool, the Tipton would provide her a bathing suit, but instead she strolled from the elevator to meet her new friend and look-alike Maddie Fitzpatrick. What she saw instead took her aback. Outside the candy counter, Maddie was wearing an expensive green and gold dress and Zack and Cody were reading scripts they were holding and discussing with Phineas while Ferb adjusted a video camera.

"What are you doing?" Candace raced after them. "What are you doing?"

"We're making a TV show!" Phineas shined with that nine-year-old face. Ferb stood by him holding his video camera ready to start filming.

"Oh-no, you're not!" Candace was not being a part of this. "I'm telling Mom!!!"

"But Candace, we want you to star in it!"

"What?!!" She stopped just a few feet from the hotel restaurant and turned back. "You want me to be a part of it?"

"Of course!" Zack and Cody pulled out a large blue shirt and pulled it over her head. Candace gasped and struggled to extend her arms through the sleeves. Her hair was slightly mussed, but she fixed it but pulling it and swaying it around her shoulders. Zack pushed her behind the candy counter in Maddie's absence. A few feet away, Maddie was dressed in a dress from London's penthouse and holding Ivana, London's Pomeranian, ready to make the TV show.

"Now, let me get this straight…" Candace realized she was wearing Maddie's hotel uniform. "I'm playing the candy girl, and the candy girl is playing a rich hotel heiress."

"Exactly!" Phineas directed her scene. "And I taped the script down to the top of the candy counter so you can just read the lines…" He beamed happily to his stepsister. "You'll be great!"

"Well, why can't I be the heiress?!" Candace screamed.

"Have you ever met London?" Maddie pointed out.

"No."

"Do you know you mean and nasty she can be?"

"No."

"Well, I do…" Maddie looked away. "I'll just pretend I'm Ashley Tisdale as Sharpay in _High School Musical_." She looked to Phineas with stars in her eyes. "You know, a lot of people say I look exactly like her!"

"I don't see it." Phineas answered then turned to his red-haired stepsister. "Trust me, Candace, this is so much better!" He insisted.

"I'm telling mom!" Candace walked away from the candy counter. "Mom!!!!" Maddie, Phineas, Ferb, Cody and Zack walked her march past him.

"Is she always like that?" Zack asked.

"Yes, yes, she is…."

"Mom!!!" Candace marched past Patrick Kiniski at the podium of the restaurant and entered the Tipton Restaurant ready to air her grievance. Her parents were still enjoying their lunch without the kids. Her mother looked up briefly and saw her daughter in the Tipton uniform.

"Oh, hi, Maddie…" Mom looked up. "Have you seen my daughter, Candace?"

"But I am Candace!"

"Oh, so you are…" Dad removed his glasses to clean them with his hankie. "You and Maddie look so much alike…."

"Mom," Candace overly gestured as she complained. "Phineas and Ferb are making a TV show and making me play the candy girl. Tell them to make me the London the heiress!" Her mother started giggling.

"Oh, Candace…" Mom became amused. "You have some imagination."

"Candace the Candy Girl…" Her father thought it over. "But it's just so perfect!" He shared the giggle with his wife. Candace looked at both of them. She was not getting anywhere with them.

"I'll play the candy girl…." She groaned dejectedly and wandered out to the lobby again. Patrick looked at her.

"Maddie, when did you dye your hair red?" He asked her. He heard a groaning noise from Candace as she wandered out to the lobby again, hung a right past the elevators, down the steps from the landing and turned into the candy counter. She sighed a bit.

"What's my first line?" She groaned defeatedly and noticed the script. "Never mind…"

"Okay," Phineas directed them. "In this episode, Candace, you are the candy girl, and Maddie is the heiress since she knows how to play London. Zack and Cody are themselves. This is going to be great!"

"Excuse me, Phineas…" Zack leaned down to the nine-year-old. "But when we finish the episode then what?"

"Ferb and I will turn it over some producers we met when we made our music video." Phineas told him.

"They made a music video?" Maddie didn't believe them. She leaned into to Candace.

"Among other stuff…" Candace sighed trapped in this scheme. From across the room, hotel manager Marion Moseby noticed the spectacle happening and ambled over to investigate the disturbance in his lobby.

"Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me…" He looked to Phineas in the director's chair and Ferb with the camera. "Aren't you two boys a bit young to be making a TV series?"

Phineas looked up to Moseby for a few seconds as if he was thinking it over. He blinked his eyes a few times.

"Yes, yes, we are."

"Oh…" Moseby looked at him and around the lobby. Candace was in Maddie's uniform at the candy counter, Maddie was wearing London's clothes and carrying London's dog, Zack and Cody were themselves and Phineas and Ferb were taping it. "Just so you know…" Moseby rolled his eyes and returned to his desk. Phineas looked to Ferb ready to continue then realized he was missing something.

"Hey," He looked around his seat. "Where's Perry?"

A mere few feet away, Perry was scuttling around the end of the candy counter and behind the potted fern. Jumping backward to his hind feet, he peeled off some fake fur from his belly, snapped it into a small hat and placed it atop his head. His tiny webbed hand pressed open a panel and he jumped through it into a pneumatic tube built within the walls of the Tipton. Once the hatched closed, he was shooting through the pipe, his head held fast to his head, through the clear plastic pipe through the basement of the Tipton. Maintenance man Arwin Hawkhauser saw the small critter whir past him through the clear plastic tube in the corner of his basement workroom.

"Was that a platypus wearing a little hat?" He asked himself.

Whirring onward through the network of forgotten tubes under the city, Perry saw waves of light and dark flashing over him as he whirred under sidewalk grates, past sewer openings and beneath underground pipes and electrical lines. It started getting brighter and brighter just before he landed in one of hundreds of secret underground bases in the country. Dropped into a seat, he reacted like an animatronic creation looking up to a large screen. It buzzed to life with the image of a Connery-esque leader of a secret spy organization.

"Agent P, there you are." He looked away. "We found him, Earl; he's in Boston." Several off screen voices cheered. "Anyway, Agent P, thank god you're already in Boston because we no longer have money in the travel budget, but it appears Doofenschmirtz is up to no good. We have information that he's been buying up all the large-screen TVs in the area for another insidious plot. Find out what he's doing, and stop him!"

Perry reacted very human like with a salute to Monogram and hopped out of his little chair. Dr. Heinz Doofenschmirtz was a criminal mastermind from behind his supposedly legitimate businesses dotting the country. Though based in Danville, Illinois, he had buildings across the country and one of them was in Boston. He wasn't sure exactly what Doofenschmirtz did for a living when he wasn't trying to extort money from the country, but he did know the eccentric inventor was up to no good. Perry hopped into his hover-car and took off for another grand adventure. He flew over the Tipton on his way to his next secret mission.

"Did I just see a platypus fly by?" Esteban the Tipton bellboy looked to Norman the doorman.

Perry flew higher and higher into the Boston skyline up past the Boston Federal Building, several high-reaching skyscrapers and toward the twenty-five story high Doofenschmirtz Tower. He maneuvered for the head winds off it to land on the edge and then strutted inward on his hind feet. In through a shaft, he slid down deep into the building, knocking off the cover at the bottom and landing quite human-like ready to battle his arch-nemesis once more.

"Perry the Platypus! What are you doing in Boston?!" Doofenschmirtz resembled Arwin a bit with just a bit more hair and much bolder eyebrows. His white lab jacket flailed as he turned to confront Perry. "I'm not doing anything evil, I swear!"

Perry leapt up smacking him with his tail several times. Doofenschmirtz reeled and reacted from the heavy blows. He backed up into his work area, a loft where all the big screens had been merged to create one giant large screen five stories high. Perry landed back on the floor and looked up with those tiny platypus eyes glaring up at his enemy.

"No, I swear! It's not evil…" Doofenschmirtz stopped and thought about it. "Well, maybe it's a little evil, let me explain…." He clicked a remote control from his pocket and a vacuum tube shot from the wall and sucked up Perry. The fourteen-inch tall trained secret agent was absorbed into the tube and deposited into a clear plastic pen with a hamster wheel and pet feeder. Doofenschmirtz began laughing.

"You see, Perry the Platypus…" He began describing his plan. "Ever since I first traveled to the United States, I've always loved watching TV. I love it, but the one thing I really hate is watching my favorite TV shows constantly getting canceled. You hate it, too. I know you do. I am so angry that my favorite TV shows keep getting cancelled… I mean, _Arrested Development, Gilligan's Island, Bewitched, The Brady Bunch, Leave it to Beaver, The Beverly Hillbillies, Lizzie McGuire, The Drew Carey Show, Titus, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Six Million Dollar Man, The Bionic Woman, The Bionic Woman Remake, Phil of the Future, According to Jim, Boston Public, Dark Shadows, The A-Team, Knight Rider, The Partridge Family, The Dukes of Hazzard, Wonder Woman, The Incredible Hulk, That's So Raven, Dallas, Dynasty, The Munsters, The Addams Family, Sabrina The Teenage Witch, The George Lopez Show, The Andy Griffith Show, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Lois and Clark, Hogan's Heroes, The Twilight Zone, The Benny Hill Show, Happy Days, The Cosby Show, Night Court, Seinfeld, That 70s Show, Bosom Buddies, Family Ties, Who's the Boss, Who's Line Is it Anyway?, Army Wives, Saving Grace, Newhart, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena, Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Voyager, Star Trek: Enterprise_, but not _Star Trek: DS-9_ which could be good at times, but not always…. I mean, why do all these great shows keep getting cancelled while really lousy shows like _Cory in the House, The Replacements_ and _Family Guy_ are still on the air, what's up with that?… It just ain't fair, but soon, the entire world shall feel my grief, behold, my Televisionator!!!!" Lightning cracked outside as he turned to his giant screen set pieced together from the stolen big screens. "I designed it to bring all my favorite cancelled shows back to life in the real world so that I'll never really miss them, but to work, it must erase an equal part of the real world to bring them to life!!!!" He screamed out loud laughing his head off as lightning cracked again. "By the way, I didn't do that lightning; that was just dumb timing. What do you think, Perry the Platypus?"

Perry stood up and looked out of his plastic prison, his head looking back and forth trying to figure out what to do. Doofenschmirtz clicked his remote as a large particle-accelerator erected higher and higher from the Televisionator ready to alter the world. The timer started playing backward from ten minutes as it charged itself up.

"So much to do, so much to do…" Doofenschmirtz started plotting. "I think I'll start dating Marilyn Munster, I hope it's the Beverley Owen version, instead of Pat Priest… then I'll have breakfast with the Cunninghams, lunch with the Cleavers, tell Colonel Hogan the war is over, cure David Banner of the Hulk, introduce my daughter Vanessa to Sabrina, dinner with the Bradys and then try to get the castaways off that island… I mean, hey, maybe Ginger would give me a hug and a kiss… then I'll form an alliance with Boss Hogg and J.R. Ewing to rule the world!!!" He started laughing. Perry looked at the timer counting down and pounded at his indestructible cage. He had to stop Doofenschmirtz!!!


	3. Chapter 3

3

Perry continued pounding at kicking at his cage. It was vibrating, it was shaking and it was resonating from all his efforts, but he could not break out of it. He noticed a heating conduit near him warming the room. The coils in it were red hot; hot enough to melt through plastic. Perry looked at it then back to Doofenschmirtz.

"Here it comes…Ooo, I'm so excited!!!" Doofenschmirtz started counting down the timer as his Televisionator powered up. "Three, two, one… Good-bye Boston!!!" The tip of the Televisionator cracked and sparked with energy ionizing the air. The first place its beam reached out for was the Tipton! Perry's little duckbill dropped open with a silent scream. Phineas and Ferb were one minute making their movie with Zack and Cody, and then they were all erased from existence. When the beam hit the penthouse, Candace and Maddie were fused into Ashley Tisdale in her TV role as Super-Blonde, last survivor of a long-extinct extra-terrestrial race. She flew through the air in her red cape and mini-skirt ready to battle her arch-nemesis, Sinner, a succubus-goddess played on TV by Lindsay Lohan.

"Today, you're going down, Sinner!" Super-Blonde landed in the Tipton Penthouse.

"I'm taking you out first!" Sinner popped out her adamantium claws!

"It's working!!! It's working!!!!" Doofenschmirtz was watching as his beam charged up again turning his TV shows to real life. He began laughing out loud to see his plan working. Perry scanned the TV screens. Zack and Cody were living their lives in one as electrical images in an actual TV series; two over and five up, Phineas and Ferb had been turned into a cartoon. A cartoon??!!! Perry shed a tear in shock at the sight of them as animated images. He started racing from one side of his plastic cage to the other until it started swaying. He had to restore them to normal!! The Televisionator recharged and hit Boston again, this time it struck a pub on Beacon Street. Norm Peterson was entering his favorite pub.

"Hello, everyone…."

"Norm!!!" The pub then got zapped and turned into an empty basement with the roles of Nick and Kyle Carter, TV boy detectives played by Cole and Dylan Sprouse. The young men had caught a petty thief in a trap they had created. They reached down and pulled off his monster mask.

"It's Old Man Mackenzie!"

"And I'd gotten away with it if it hadn't been for you rotten kids!"

Perry had swung his cage up on to a shelf near the heating unit. It started melting a crack for him to get through. Another TV screen turned into a TV show around Cheers. The Televisionator blasted the Boston courthouse while Ally McBeal-Collins and John Cage were defending a case before Judge Whipper Cone. In their place appeared the characters played by Hugh Jackman and Shannen Doherty, Tom and Nicole Cutter, TV's favorite married lawyers! Another screen created a TV show around the skinny lady lawyer without her husband in her life. In the real world, no one noticed or recognized Tom Cutter looked like Hugh Jackman.

"Your honor, we can prove Lionel Spenser never killed his wife." Cutter announced. "She faked her murder to send her husband to jail for his money!!"

The Televisionator blasted mail carrier Cliff Clavin as he approached Vonda's Martini Bar. In the mailman's place was Jake Ryan as the low-rated syndicated character called the Zombie-Slayer, an obvious Buffy rip-off. He faced off on the zombies in the street.

"Dudes, I slayed you once, don't make me slay you again!!!"

"Ugh!!!" Doofenschmirtz recoiled at the sight of him. "That's not one of my favorites. I hate that show! I'll have to blast him again…" He turned round and got hit up the side of his face by Perry's tail. He spun around once and hit the floor. As his eyes refocused, Doofenschmirtz watched Perry scampering over to the Televisionator to hit a switch.

"Perry the Platypus, how'd you escape my escape-proof cage??!" Doofenschmirtz yelled at Perry, who landed near a switch on the Televisionator. "Don't you hit that reverse-switch! Don't hit that reverse-switch!!! Hey, why did I install a reverse switch?? What am I crazy or something??"

Perry flicked the reverse-switch and the Televisionator started undoing the damage it had caused to reality. The Cutters and the Carter Twins were returned to the airwaves, Norm Peterson and his favorite bar were returned. Super-Blonde punched Sinner through the center of the Tipton lobby just as the characters winked out and back to regular television. Perry looked up to see Phineas and Ferb vanish as a cartoon and see Super-Blonde back on TV. To his left, Doofenschmirtz tried hitting him with a broom.

"Get away from my Televisionator!!!" He swatted again as Perry scurried up between the TV screens and grabbed a wire to slide down to another switch marked self-destruct. Doofenschmirtz stopped swinging and watched Perry going after it.

"Why did I create a self-destruct switch?" He asked himself. "Well, if I created a reverse-switch I just had to create a self-destruct switch. I mean, what was I thinking!!!" Perry hit the switch and raced to cover. Racing away while holding on to his cap, the Televisionator started sparking, the screens blacking out and falling apart. It started tumbling apart as if it were a house of cards with Doofenschmirtz running left and right trying to keep from getting crushed. His particle-accelerator started caving in on itself. The room started filling with smoke and crackling electricity. Perry raced toward his hovercraft on the roof. He started up as the structure shuddered from the explosions within.

"This is the last time you destroy one of my schemes!!!" Doofenschmirtz had followed Perry to the roof. He dived at Perry's hovercraft, but he was too heavy for it. Perry hit his switches and controls to carry his nemesis, but it was burning up too much fuel. Doofenschmirtz looked down upon Boston whirring by under his feet. Perry was carrying him over the city. The tiny duck-billed mammal held one paw on his guidance control and hit the autopilot to guide him back to the Tipton. Doofenschmirtz was trying to knock Perry off, but the seatbelt held the tiny secret agent to his seat. Meanwhile, the engine started sputtering, they started losing height over the Tipton. Doofenschmirtz looked over the top of the hovercraft as they plummeted together into the hotel.

"Oh no….." They smashed into a twenty-third floor suite. Perry freed himself and landed on the ledge outside the window. Doofenschmirtz holding on to the two hundred pound and four foot wide craft smashed through the window, flinging him through broken glass and over the carpet. Carie Martin swung around and watched the debacle appearing before her.

"Arwin, what are you doing?" She thought he looked familiar.

"My good lady…" Doofenschmirtz groaned and lifted himself up to his feet. "That's is not my name, I am, Doctor Heinz Doof-" Perry leapt through the window and smacked him across the face with his tail, sending Doofenschmirtz flying backward over her sofa. Carey backed into the kitchen as this small animal was beating the stuffing out of this man in the white lab coat. The professor swung at him, but the highly agile critter continued sailing and jumping over him. Striking him with his tail and pummeling him into the wall, not once losing that little hat! Her hand placed with confused concern to her chest, Carey watched as Doofenschmirtz grabbed her son's whiffle bat and tried hitting the platypus, but Perry landed on the whiffle bat and did a karate kick to Doofenschmirtz's chest. He stumbled backward several feet and crashed down through Carey's door to the hallway.

"Hey, Carey, I'm here to fix that…" Coming up the corridor, Arwin watched as Perry shot through the air and landed on Doofenschmirtz. "Oh, wow, you're filming a TV show too! This so cool! It looks real!"

"Arwin, it's real!!!" Carey pulled him out of the way. Perry was smacking and clobbering and fighting Doofenschmirtz all the way to the elevator. He smacked into the button for the penthouse and they started heading up to the top floor. Upstairs, in London Tipton's penthouse, Phineas and Ferb were filming their TV show. Maddie was playing the absent London. Candace was playing Maddie.

"Okay, Candace…" Phineas sat in his seat. "In the final scene, you as Maddie apologize to Maddie for stealing her boyfriend, and Maddie, as London, you apologize to Candace for turning her into Lindsay Lohan and getting her arrested. Zack and Cody, you guys are cleaning up after the wild party you had in the suite without telling Maddie who's playing London."

"You know, Phineas…" Zack had an idea. "It might be funnier if I just tricked Cody to do all the work."

"Just like he always does…" Cody rolled his eyes.

"Excellent…" Phineas leaned back in his director's chair. "And… Action!" Ferb started taping.

"Maddie, I mean… London…" Candace turned to Maddie. "I'm sorry for stealing your boyfriend, Jeremy, I mean, Lance…. It's just that he was really cute!" She forced a nervous grin.

"That's okay, Candace, I mean… Maddie." Maddie stood wearing London's clothes in her absence and holding Ivana. "I didn't like him anyway." The two of them hugged each other as if they were best friends. Zack wandered up to them.

"Ladies, how about giving the Zackster some of that sugar?" He asked.

"How about the Zackster helping clean up the mess?" Cody stood in the penthouse suite littered with junk food wrappers, paper plates, paper cups and pizza boxes.

"Fine," Zack seemed to agree. "I'll take out the worst of it." He pushed Cody out into the hall and slammed the door closed on him before turning and laughing at himself. Cody had been through this disrespect without acting in a TV show. He re-entered the suite just to get back into the scene.

"I got to call Jeremy again!" Candace broke character to try another voice mail; it didn't go through.

"Cut!" Phineas hopped up and Ferb stopped taping. "It just ain't exciting enough. We need some excitement!" There was the sound of a major fight in the hall. Someone was screaming and yelling as they were crashed into the walls. The group of teenagers and nine-year-olds looked behind them just as Dr. Heinz Doofenschmirtz suddenly stumbled backward from the hallway and through the suite past them trying to stop himself from falling over from his scuffle. He grabbed Ferb's camera trying to stop his fall backward and knocked the garbage bags out of Cody's hands and out of the window, following them down to the street before. Everyone crowded around the window as he plummeted down to the street.

"Curse you, Perry the Platypus!!!!" Doofenschmirtz was screaming as he landed in a garbage truck down below on the street stuck at the light.

"What did he say?" Cody looked out the window at the garbage truck carrying off Doofenschmirtz.

"It sounded like… Curse you, Larry the Cable Guy." Zack answered.

"Hey, Perry…" Phineas looked around and noticed his pet platypus, Perry, crawling into the penthouse. "So there you are!" He lovingly lifted him up into his arms. Perry just made that purring clicking noise again.

"What, wait…" Candace was upset. "But that guy took all our footage! What about our TV show?!"

"At least we all had a lot of fun making it!" Phineas shined at his new friends. "Let's figure out what we're doing tomorrow! We could try bungee-jumping off the top of the hotel!"

"That would be so cool!" Zack liked that idea. "I am so there!" The twins bonded with the nine-year-old prodigies. Candace watched them wandering out of the penthouse. Maddie looked around wondering if that was the end of it.

"Is that it?" She asked. "Is that it?"

"Welcome to my world…." Candace's heart was crushed. "I can't believe I'm not going to be a TV star… but you know, for a split second, I thought I was Ashley Tisdale on_ Super-Blonde_!" She pulled off Maddie's uniform over her head and handed it to her.

"That's weird…" Maddie turned and looked at her. "For a split second, I thought I was Ashley Tisdale on_ Super-Blonde_!" The two of them wandered from London's penthouse. Maddie left Ivana behind and pulled on her hotel uniform. She had to get back to her candy counter. Candace dragged along because she had nowhere to go. Down on the first floor, Maddie looked at the Tipton lobby. Furniture was tossed around and askew, objects were knocked over, guests were upset and talking to police officers, her candy counter looked at though someone had been smashed into it and several of the furnishings had been rendered by what seemed like extra sharp claws. She looked to Candace and back again.

"Mr. Moseby, what happened here?!"

"It was the craziest thing, Madelyne…" Moseby was still feverishly guiding the clean up. "But just a few moments ago, Ashley Tisdale was here in a Supergirl costume, and she was beating the crap out of Lindsay Lohan in a black leather bodysuit who had these claws that popped out of her fists. They spent ten minutes trashing the lobby then just vanished. I don't understand just what happened!"

"Welcome to my world…" Candace wandered through past them. She looked up to see her mother coming toward her. "You missed it… again!"

"Missed what, Candace?" Linda Flynn-Fletcher partially resembled Moseby's German nemesis with the mole over at the St. Mark Hotel. "Guess what, honey, I was talking to Jeremy's mother over my cell phone. He's been trying to call you."

"He has?!!!" Candace lit up as her mother lent her the use of her cell phone. "Jeremy? Jeremy? Jeremy, why didn't you call me?"

"I tried, Candace…" Jeremy's oh-so-cool voice sounded so good to her. "But my voice mail got so full, my phone shorted out… I wonder how that could have happened!"

"Yeah…" Candace was finally shining. "I wonder how…." She shined happily content to hear him.

A few blocks away, Doofenschmirtz had freed himself of the garbage truck and wandered in pain back to his headquarters five blocks from the Tipton. Covered in garbage, reeking of spoiled food, stinky diapers and festered with flies buzzing around him, he wandered into his lab on the top floor with the hundreds of shattered smoking big screen TVs around him.

"Curse you, Perry the Platypus!!!" He screamed again. He noticed the video camera in his hand. "Where did I get a video camera? This isn't my video camera!!!" He flicked it on to a little ditty playing from it.

"This is the suite life…."

"Ooooo, I think I'm going to like this show…." He grinned as he sat on the floor watching it. "Hey, that girl looks exactly like Ashley Tisdale from _High School Musical_!!!!"

END


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